Addicts

5.07.2012

Miller High Life: Broke? Wanna Party? Gotcha Covered

I'll be honest with you here, folks; I normally can't stand Miller anything. In fact, damn near every American mainstream-beer tastes like carbonated ass to me. Same goes for a good deal of mainstream imports. Heineken, Newcastle.. all that shit. Can't stand it. But, of course, there are exceptions. Usually when it's cheap.

And you're not going to get a better deal for your dollar when you go to Miller High Life. There isn't a whole lot of taste, but it's certainly not water. At something like $4.99 for a 6-pack of Tallboys.. it beats out PBR by at least a half-dollar, and when you don't care what your beer taste like, you might as well save the 50 cents. Now sure, things like Icehouse might be cheaper. But.. Icehouse? Really? You're that broke. I mean, shit, just buy some DW-40. It's the same shit and you can use some of it for your car.

But I'm getting off topic. Miller High Life is definitely the top-tier of cheap beers. But if you really don't care about taste, then let's just dissect the can of beer itself. It looks fucking sexy. Classy lettering, golden color finish, and a subtly to the whole ensemble that just looks right when you're holding it in your hand. Let's put it this way.. most other beers you feel prouder holding in those Red Solo cups. High Life is a can you can wear with pride. Yes, mother fucker, I am drinking High Life. Because I know what's up.

Oh, yeah. And pinup-girls. 

Who you foolin'? You know that looks good.

Still not convinced? Well then get PBR, what more do you want from me? I'm not saying make this your go-to beer, but it's not bad. Miller gets a bad rap for their other beers.. and personally, I believe for good reason, but High Life is something different. They definitely did something right with this one.

High Life is Miller's oldest running brand of beer. Though the company was established by Frederick Miller in 1855, none of their other formulas have lasted as long as Miller High Life. In fact, the reason it lasted so long could most likely be attributed to how cheap it is now. When Plank-Road brewery was purchased by Miller, it was in a location that was in the dead center of a network of farms that produced all the raw materials needed to make beer. With such easy access to these farms, it's not much of a reach to assume that High Life was a very affordable beer in it's time. All they needed to do was make it not taste like utter shit. 

High Life is indeed a landmark in the history of American Beers. The 'Girl on the Moon' logo is a depiction of Frederick Miller's granddaughter. You don't get more historical than that.
So in summation, High Life isn't exactly the best beer out there, but with PBR as it's only real competition for it's price range.. you might as well at least flip a coin on it. What's the worst that could happen? (Side-effects of consuming an entire 12-pack on your own excluded. Don't put that shit on me, bro. That's a you-problem.)

Coconut Monkey knows what's up. Do you?

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